


Stupid and Boring

by DictionaryWrites



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Affection, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angel/Demon Relationship, Beelzebub Has a Penis (Good Omens), Bottom Beelzebub (Good Omens), Canon Non-Binary Character, Complicated Relationships, Dirty Talk, Fucking, Gabriel Has a Penis (Good Omens), Making Love, Other, Power Dynamics, Teasing, Top Gabriel (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 19:02:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19362577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DictionaryWrites/pseuds/DictionaryWrites
Summary: Against her better judgement, Beelzebub lets Gabriel drive.





	Stupid and Boring

The… _relationship_ between the Lord of Flies, Beelzebub, and the Archangel Gabriel, was one of simple proportions and definitions. Beelzebub had insisted on as much from the beginning. The fact of the matter was that as higher-ups in rivalling organisations – such as they might be described, when limited to human descriptors for the facts of life – they had to have some contact with one another, needed to sometimes meet, go through paperwork… There were, after all, matters of business to be cleared between Heaven and Hell that were quite above board, and needed input, and compromise, from each side: issues of territory, or assets, or budgetary considerations.

Heaven took the lion’s share of _most_ , of course, but Hell was not without its leverage entirely, and in recent years, the gap between their respective powers had been growing smaller…

And this?

This wasn’t business at all.

This was extracurricular.

Beelzebub’s bit at Gabriel’s lower lip, and he let out a hiss of pain, but didn’t pull away, settled his hands onto her hips and dragged her more solidly into his lap as she kissed him, kissed him in the most savage way she knew now, laid claim to his vessel’s mouth so that by the end of the night he would know she owned it more than he did, and be grateful.

Their sex was often rough.

Beelzebub believed in certain stipulations to this dynamic, even as they had discovered that their humanish bodies, with their base hormonal responses, their unconscious pheromones, their natural chemistry with one another… Well, it was one thing that their bodies were compatible. It was one thing again for the two of them to engage in sex with one another – Gabriel called it _spreading love_ and _getting healthy exercise_ ; Beelzebub called it _tempting an angel_ and _indulging in hedonism_.

It would be another thing, were they to be soft about it.

It was alright if it was quick, business-like, professional. It was alright if it was rough and biting, full of rivalry. Beelzebub appreciated these lines of difference, let them remember this was purely physical.

Not that it was _her_ that needed reminded.

It was the angel, stupid, soppy thing that he was, with an attitude like an overeager dog, desperate to please, desperate to be liked, desperate to love… It was for his benefit.

When Beelzebub felt like it, she would bend him over or shove him onto his back, shove his thighs apart and thrust inside him while he babbled incoherent praise and chatter and other assorted nonsense, would drive into him until his thighs quivered and he couldn’t stop shaking. Once, she had fucked him so hard and slow that his eyes had watered, and he had nodded desperately for her to go on through his bitten back whimpers.

Other times, she’d push him down and straddle him, work herself down onto his cock and make use of him as she pleased, look down at the wondering look in his violet eyes as he grasped at her hips, or pull him on top of her to fuck her properly, smacking his thigh or the curve of his muscled ass if he went too slowly.

“Let me drive tonight,” Gabriel said against her mouth, and Beelzebub frowned at him, adjusting her position in his lap. Gabriel’s lips were bitten bruised, and a thin trickle of blood had come from his split lip, staining his chin: she dragged her tongue through it, tasting the tell-tale tang of _angel_ in his otherwise human blood.

“You don’t know how to drive,” she said impatiently.

“Maybe not a motor vehicle,” Gabriel said earnestly. “But I know how to drive _you_.”

“You—”

“ _Please_?” Gabriel asked, his voice soft, his eyes focused on her face. “You’ve been in charge the past few dozen times, and I just want to try something different, and this is a give and take relationship where the both of us is kinda—”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Beelzebub said.

Gabriel watched her expectantly.

“Fine,” she said slowly. “You drive. But not fazzze-to-fazzze. I want to be on my front.”

“Okay,” Gabriel said, and touched his fingers to the bottom of her chin, pulling her into another kiss. It was too soft, too gentle, and she brought in more of the harshness she was accustomed to, pulling his hair and making him moan, but he didn’t protest and shove her off, just stood up from the desk with his hands under her thighs, keeping her wrapped around his waist.

They usually undressed each other: she would use a snap of her fingers, and she’d watch him painstakingly remove his nice, human clothes, all from his favourite tailor (who was the daughter of the son of the son of the son of his _first_ favourite tailor), but this time, when he pushed her back onto the bed, he focused on pushing her jacket gently off her shoulder, his fingers going to the fastenings of her clothes. She let him, lounging back as he undressed her carefully, putting each of her clothes aside with a careful reverence – the same reverence he afforded his own clothes, which he liked to take care of.

It was stupid, having a _truly_ physical thing that you could break or lose or destroy, when you could have something so easy to conjure, but he wouldn’t see it that way. Something to do with the morality of actually paying for one’s clothes, intellectual ideas—

 _Bless_ it. Had she been listening to one of his stupid lectures by accident?

She kicked him in the hip with her bare foot, and he laughed, pulling it up to his mouth to kiss the side of her ankle. She stared at him, her mouth fallen open, as he kept kissing, his mouth brushing leg hair that was just a little too hard and bristly to the same as _human_ leg hair, kissing his way up her calf, and then falling forward, still fully clothed, to kiss up her thigh.

He fell between her legs with abandon, suckling messily at the base of her cock before he came up higher, taking the head of it into his mouth and dragging his tongue over its head. He _moaned_ as he did it, ever full of enthusiasm, and she released a little groan, head tipping back onto the pillow. Gabriel wasn’t the most skilled with his mouth, but he was full to the brim with an eager aplomb, and his mouth was hot and wet as he tried to take her down. She dug her heels into his lower shoulders as she locked them around him, her hands tightening once more into his hair, and she rolled her hips, fucking her cock into his throat and laughing when she made him choke.

Undeterred, he redoubled his efforts, and she hissed as his lips locked around the very base of her cock, taking her for a moment right into his mouth before he dragged off, _sucking_ as he went.

“Well?” he asked.

“Well, what?”

“You wanted to get on your belly,” Gabriel said, stroking a pattern on her thigh. “Unless you changed your mind?”

She moved to kick him again, but he caught her foot before she could, this time, and pulled her to flip her over, shoving her into the mattress and climbing over her thighs. “No,” she said, slapping his hand. “Not on my _belly_. On my handzzz and kneezzz.”

“ _You_ said,” Gabriel said, his breath hot against the back of her ear, his body, still clothed, pinning her down, “that you wanted to be on your belly. And I like to make sure I’m doing what you like, Beelz, I—”

“ _Beelzzzebub_.”

“ _Sir_ ,” Gabriel retorted, and bit the back of her ear. It wasn’t a proper bite, only a little playground nip, but she groaned, because he ground his hips against her naked ass as he did it, and she felt his cock, _stupidly_ big and ready to go, in his pants.

“Yeah,” she said, spreading her legs apart. “Zzzir. _Fine_.”

He didn’t undress himself, just pulled his cock out of his trousers and let it slide against her asscheeks, sliding between them. It was _big_ , like it always was, and it was heavy against the flesh, making her grunt arch her back slightly as she invited him to just _shove it in her_ , but he was slow about sliding wet fingers against her arse, playing around the rim, teasing it. She grunted, clenching the tight ring of muscle to try to pull him in, but he wasn’t to be rushed, tugging and gently putting pressure on the ring.

“I don’t _need_ it,” she hissed. “Juzzzt fuck me.”

“You know, your highness,” Gabriel said, insufferably, as his thumb tugged against her rim and made her cock give a little jump, “I think _you_ have control issues.”

“I’ll zzzhow you contr— _ungh_ ,” Beelzebub moaned as Gabriel slid two fingers easily into her, sliding smooth as velvet against her inner walls, and he hooked them and tugged just a little more, putting a delicious pressure against the side of her ass. His fingers shifted again, brushing featherlight over her prostate as they thrust inside her, and she let out a choked sound, trying to shove her hips back for more, but Gabriel had his other stupid, big hand spread on her lower back, and she couldn’t move an inch. He kept _fingering_ her. It felt good, infuriatingly good, a slow, easy slide against her that felt quietly decadent, but it was too drawn out, too gentle, it took too _long_.

When he finally lined his cock up, she hissed her relief, but he slid it into her so impossibly slowly she thought she might die. His head popped past her rim, stretching her _wonderfully_ , and she closed her eyes, pressing her face against the pillows and trying to grind her half-hard cock against the sheets as Gabriel moved forward infinitesimally slowly, like he was trying to reinvent the timelessness of Heaven right here, in a stupidly luxurious hotel room outside of Manchester, on the side of a roaring roundabout – a natural compromise between their respective preferences. She choked out a gaping moan, grappling with the sheets as Gabriel’s cock kept working into her, slicked and wet but oh-so- _slow_ , stretching her out with so much care—

And then Gabriel’s lips touched against the centre of her back.

It wasn’t a bite. It wasn’t the sort of sucking, desperate movement she knew him to engage him, either, when he sloppily left wet, bruised marks over her neck or the inside of her thighs. It was a _kiss_. Tender, gentle, _sweet_.

“You’re _handsome_ ,” Gabriel said, and she gritted her teeth, but before she could bite back a reply, he sheathed his cock in her ass in one smooth movement, cramming her full to the brim, and she moaned. “I ever tell you that, your highness?”

“ _Zzzhut up_ , wank-wings, and let me—”

Gabriel started thrusting, little movements that just rolled right into her in the most delicious way possible, and kept punctuating the thrusts with kisses against her back, tracing up the line of her sharp spine. She hissed, then inhaled sharply, but he never stopped, not for a moment, the trail of kisses tender and leaving a warm glow that blossomed out over her skin, expanding outward.

And then he grasped at her hips, his thumbs pressing against the divot of them, long fingers spreading against her sides, and adjusted his angle: like this, each thrust made her cock rub against the bed, and she moaned, arching her back.

“So handsome,” he said again, between kisses. “Your _highness_. Really impressive that a demon could be so—”

She clenched, and he trailed off for a second, groaning against the back of her neck.

“Harder,” she said.

“If you face me,” he said.

“ _Harder_ ,” she said.

“No,” he replied.

He kept rolling his hips, torturously slowly, dragging right over the most sensitive parts of her ass and making her cock jerk and jump beneath her, and then his _hand_ slid under, his palm wet where he grabbed hold of her cock and let het thrust against it. She came with Gabriel’s mouth against her neck, laying more kisses there, and then he sucked a mark into the side of the skin.

Flopping forward on the bed, she lay on her belly, feeling Gabriel’s cock _pulse_ in her – when had he come? Before her? After?

Not at the same time, surely…

“Zzztupid,” Beelzebub muttered. “And _boring_.”

“Mmm,” Gabriel hummed, rubbing his nose against the back of her neck, and she reached back, grabbing him by the hair. He sighed, his hands sliding forward, wrapping around her flat chest, playing absently over her nipples as her hips gave a weak stutter. “I _like_ you,” he rumbled in her ear. “Angels are full of _love_ , Beelz. That’s just how it is.”

“Hmph.”

His hands stopped, and he started to pull his mouth away, but she hauled him closer. “Don’t _zzztop_ ,” she hissed.

She felt his lips shift into a smile. “’Kay,” he said amiably, and licked a stripe down her spine.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up [on Dreamwidth](https://dictionarywrites.dreamwidth.org/2287.html). You can send requests [on Tumblr](http://patricianandclerk.tumblr.com/ask), too. Requests always open. Check out [Fuck Yeah, Gabriel! too](https://fuckyeahgabrielgoodomens.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> Remember that [the Tadfield Advertiser](https://tadfield-advertiser.dreamwidth.org/517.html) and the [Good Omens Prompt Meme](https://onthedisc.dreamwidth.org/9084.html) are both up and running, and people should definitely go leave prompts and fills on both!!


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